Are You Really Where You Want To Be In Your Life?
No? You can turn all of this around.
Well, 2020 is almost done and dusted. The end of the year is always a time for reflection. And this year will be a reflection quite unlike any other year.
Here’s a question to reflect on: Are you happy with your life right now?
Your answer may surprise you. There may be parts of your life that you are nailing, but other parts that are not going so well.
Reflecting on our personal stuff allows us to assess where we have been in our journey, where we currently are, and where we want to be. But also, what changes we want to make.
Find direction
I have reflected on this year and how out of control it felt. To regain some of this control, my overall goal in 2021 is to be more purposeful in my choices.
I want to make decisions that have a clear direction. I want to be active in gaining momentum towards my end goal — this may seem logical, but actually doing it is not always the case.
Sometimes, I have started off with a specific goal. Still, somehow I end up fluffing around and making watered-down decisions. At the end of the day, my goals then look a little like what I wanted, but not quite.
I like to ask myself questions and try to answer them honestly.
- We all have stayed in a job despite the fact it is making us unhappy. Why? What would your life look like if this part of it were different?
- We have not ended friendships or intimate partner relationships with those who are not good for us. Why? What would your life look like without these people in it?
- We hold back on trying new things. Why? How confident and free would you feel if you challenged yourself to try a new hobby or follow through on that creative idea?
Grab 2021 with both hands
Ask yourself where you want to be this time next year.
Do you want to say you gave it your all? Or are you content saying you had some left in the tank and that extra push may have made all the difference?
What is holding you back? — Fear? Embarrassment? The unknown? Is it you and nothing else?
What would your life look like if it included the changes you want to make?
Answering these questions honestly can help guide direction.
You are in control of your life. Yes, there are parts of our lives that we have no control over — we must work, pay bills, have responsibilities — all that typical stuff.
What we are talking about here is having some control through choices that affect your overall life direction, not the nitty-gritty day-to-day stuff.
Know that you have choices
You alone have control to change the direction of your life the way you want it to be.
If change feels too hard, if it is too complicated or you don’t have the energy to do it — that’s fine. But, accept that if you choose to do nothing to change your life, you must be okay with the outcome of that decision.
- Be purposeful in your decisions. Know where you want to go and make every decision a pointed effort to achieve those goals.
- Relate these decisions back to the ‘bigger picture’ you have created for yourself.
- Be patient, the change will not happen overnight, but sticking with the plan will help get you there.
- Be persistent and get back on the horse when it throws you off. In the mud. In the rain. Damn you, horse!
- Ask yourself the hard questions: Do I really want to change? Am I driven enough? What do I need to change in myself to work a little harder, to learn, to strive, to not coast through my year and my life? Be honest.
- Stop complaining and just act. Everyone’s job sucks from time to time (mine absolutely), and everyone complains about this (guilty of this myself). Still, there does come a time where enough is enough. This is where choice comes in: Do you complain and do nothing or do you change your situation and be happier?
Final thought…
If 2020 has reminded me of anything, it is the unpredictability of our existence. We can not foresee how things will pan out, but what we can do is give things a really good go.
Have a goal and aim for it. The best that can happen is that you make it and succeed in what you hoped to achieve. The worst thing, for me, is wondering what if?
